he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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