Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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