i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
