you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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