I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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