You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
