took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
