i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
soo... how was my night?
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