I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
