I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
