Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
