i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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