hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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