doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
