Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize