question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
