I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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