Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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