Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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