May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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