He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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