ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize