He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
