Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
