Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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