His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
