You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
