How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
