she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
