Im at strip club and am horny
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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