I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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