last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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