Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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