he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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