Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize