His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize