Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
