I love black thongs
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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