You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize