they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
