ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
