I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just want to make out with him forever
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize