am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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