Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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