ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you win again, gameday.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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