I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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