You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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