i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
