I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
