I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Randomize
