is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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