this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
