please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
