chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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