im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
