so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
