I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
