When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
