my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
