Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
