I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
