this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
where am i from again
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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