we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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